I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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