She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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