I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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