Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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