Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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