Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
