Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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