They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
