how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
