Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
