I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My ass is underappreciated
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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