party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Floor bacon is actually really good
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