Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
