well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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