Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
