I feel like abortions should bother me more
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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