I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
