Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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