Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We had to coat check the pizza.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
