we're blogging at a bar
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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