wakey wakey hands off snakey
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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