what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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