just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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