I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
