he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
