is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
