Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
