Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
