You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
