Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
