I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
