Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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