Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
