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Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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