We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
