Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
