He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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