I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize