I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
