i may or may not be watching the land before time
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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