My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
