Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
