forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
