I'm really into asian looking animals
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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