I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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