OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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