real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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