The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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