i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
