he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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