is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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