You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
whose parrot is this?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
