is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
