Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
