there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
