Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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