hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
