You're a womanizer and a bitch.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
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Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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