I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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