You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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