you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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