You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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