i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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