To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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