The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
this hospital has no fireball
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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