I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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